dating app meme

[parser]

dating app meme

hello there There's a new program for your tomestone that's all the rage these days — OkMoogle, an app for meeting all sorts of new people, be it for dating purposes or just to make more friends! Oh, you're not interested? Or maybe you're just not the most tech-savvy individual? Well, that's unfortunate — somebody fluffy might have worked a little moogle magic to put up a profile for you anyway, kupo...! 1. Copy the first code into a comment to this entry. 2. Fill in all the stuff as if you were making a dating app profile for your character (or as if a silly moogle made a joke profile for them, whatever works). 3. Use the ✗ and the ✓ to express interest or disinterest, with comments. 4. Thread about it! This meme was gently lifted from bakerstreet. The template has been modified from a code originally written by photosynthesis.

TEMPLATE CODED BY valoirs

	okmoogle
✗		✓
	ISOBE AGE » ??? SEEKING » dango PREFERENCES » <chirp><chirp> BIO » professional triple triad player

<br><center><table style="width:470px;"><tr style="border-bottom:2px solid #969696;"><td></td> <td style="background-color:#fff; border-radius: 25px 25px 0px 0px; padding:20px; padding-bottom:0; width:300px; font:38px georgia; text-transform:lowercase; text-align:center; letter-spacing:2px;"><i>okmoogle</i></b></td> <td></td></tr> <tr><td style="font-size:50px; vertical-align:middle; text-align:right; padding:0; color: #b80202;">✗</td> <td style=" background-color:#fff; padding-top:10px; padding-bottom:0; width:308px;"><center><img src="IMG URL" style="width: 300px;"></center></td> <td style="font-size:50px; vertical-align:middle; padding:0; color:#018c26;">✓</td></tr> <tr><td></td> <td style="background-color:#fff; border-radius: 0px 0px 25px 25px; font:12px arial; text-align:left; padding:10px;"><p style="font:20px verdana; letter-spacing:-1px; text-align:center; "> CHARACTER NAME </p><B>AGE</B> » age here <B>SEEKING</B> » friends / dating / a good time / etc <B>PREFERENCES</B> » whatever you want! <B>BIO</B> » prob wanna keep this short <br></td></tr></table></center></a>

✗	✓
<span style="color: #b80202; font-size: 2em; "><b> ✗ </b></span>	<span style="color: #018c26; font-size: 2em;"><b> ✓ </b></span>

Comments

estinien wyrmblood; menace to moogles

[ohwyrm]

	okmoogle
✗		✓
	ESTINIEN WYRMBLOOD AGE » 32 SEEKING » A special someone who can soothe his angry spirit, convince him to lay down his lance for a while, and speak to him on the many, many virtues of mogkind PREFERENCES » Does this menace look like he has the right to be picky?! He should be grateful that anyone's reading this at all! Honestly, we're doing him a big favor by setting this up for him, kupo BIO » Er- that's not to say that he's a bad date, kupo! There's plenty of fun, exciting activities that you can bond with him over, like training against a combat dummy! Or training up in the mountains! Or training against... ah... oh dear. Well, you adventurers are a rather bloodthirsty lot, kupo, so maybe this isn't as dire as it sounds! Just as long as his lance is pointed at you and not at us then we'll count this as a success.

[haillenarte]

✓

[literally only swiped right so that he can ask:]

am... am i to understand that the attached photo is in some way supposed to depict a man.

1/2

[ohwyrm]

I'd like to see you get a better shot, kupo! That man won't stay still long enough for anymog to get a decent picture! Though, uh, you don't REALLY need a picture, do you? Some people like a man of mystertfghvbnjkmmm.njk

2/2

[ohwyrm]

[And then, after Estinien manages to wrestle the tomestone away from the moogle:]

who is this

okay i laughed

[haillenarte]

[there is a long pause, during which francel considers praying for the poor moogle who was probably launched pom-first across the whole of eorzea...

subsequently, he decides that he doesn't really want to give his name to ishgard's infamously temperamental dragoon after all! a strategic decision!]

ser alaimbert of the spiked butt

:D

[ohwyrm]

[Good gods it's Ser Alaimbert. Fury grant him grace...]

you of all people should recognize a dragoon's leap when he sees one!

[Honestly, the man may be a fool, but were he unskilled he would have died where better men and women have perished. Then again, you know what they say: the Fury looks out for fools and children]

[haillenarte]

[oh. hm. in his haste to think of a suitable pseudonym, francel completely forgot about the fact that the notorious ser alaimbert is, in fact, a dragoon, and one that ser estinien would know, at that. this is a pickle.

it's not a pickle that can't be overcome, however — particularly as francel is in fact familiar with the spiked butt's peculiarities, and more than capable of imitating his... particular manner of speech.]

well, certainly! of that i was never in doubt!

but is it the dragoon captured thusly?



or at the apex of his arc, like so?



regardless of the answer, i am all but certain that many would fall to their knees at the mere sight of you with your hefty lance grasped firmly in hand!

[ohwyrm]

[Estinien isn't sure who's the greater fool here: Ser Alaimbert of the Poor Phrasing, for obvious reasons, or himself for thinking that he might have been able to have a normal conversation with him for once. Everything he says, either through speech or through correspondence, is obliviously perverse, and- good gods, even that illustration is suspect. What did he do to deserve this?

...well, quite a few things, if one happens to believe in divine punishment, but Estinien refuses to entertain the thought. He's about to type out a rebuke when he realizes two things:

1) He does not particularly feel like dealing with Alaimbert's nonsense today, and

2) He does not have to. Estinien is no expert on Tomestones or their programming, but there's ways to block someone's messages, are there not? So he swipes wildly on his screen, searching for a block button or a profile or anything, really, that he can use to banish Alaimbert from his presence.]

[haillenarte]

[francel is beginning to get the sense that he has outstayed "ser alaimbert's" welcome with the commander of the knights dragoon, and also that he's probably getting the poor knight of the spiked butt in a good deal of trouble, but he can't help but jab:]

i take it by your silence that you are stunned speechless by my artistic prowess...

I laughed so hard it hurt oh my god

[sedge_flower]

✗

When was the last time you took a bath?

I aim to please

[ohwyrm]

[He refuses to dignify her question with an answer, and instead, replies with the same one that he asked his previous "suitor"]

who is this

[valhourdin]

✗

[ "Curse those bloody whoresons and piss on their swiving round table" indeed, a lost cause. ]

[ohwyrm]

✗

[Good news for you, Ser Zephirin: the feeling is mutual]

i'm so sad that i can't icly do more than henchman talk, ty for laughter though

[valhourdin]

✗

[ For good measure — those who oppose Ishgard's only means of salvation are no better than her foes. ]

Mayhap you would do well to lay down your lance.

I'm glad you enjoyed <3 and I loved your recruitment ad for the Heavens' Ward

[ohwyrm]

[ That sentiment is not too different from Estinien's own feelings on the matter; the main contrast is who he's placed his faith in as Ishgard's best hope for the future, and who, as a result, has become his latest enemy in the wake of Nidhogg's defeat. ]

I would do so gladly - once you and your brethren are dead and buried, that is.

[And not a moment sooner]

thank you!!

[valhourdin]

And Ishgard with us.

I realize that there is no reasoning with you — much like Ser Aymeric, you will not see it.

[ Regrettable, that it should come to this, some part of Zephirin thinks even now, but so be it. ]

[ohwyrm]

How arrogant you are, to think that Ishgard will perish without your presence. Or would you rather see our nation burn ere you lose the lofty position you have gained?

[valhourdin]

You and your allies would see Ishgard sundered. Have you the power to save her then? Has Ser Aymeric, or your Warrior of Light?

Bereft of our king's guidance, our nation would perish ere long... but you may continue to think us the villains.

you.. like moogles. I like moogles too..

[mustlovemoogles]

✓

Moogles are just.. amazing, I did not know you had such impeccable taste..

[ he is totally not even aware that this was placed as a joke, really right now what is being described is his dream person-- elezen and all ]

OH NO...

[ohwyrm]

If you replied simply to make sport of me, then I suggest that you go pester someone else.

Mat likes elezen.. and elezen who 'likes' moogles are good people

[mustlovemoogles]

[ Mat has like absolutely no sense of humor to speak of; he is responding completely in serious ]

Oh no, I wouldn't dream of it-- Moghome in the evening is so beautiful, with all those little poms glowing...

[ wish I could say he wasn't being serious-- but Mat is serious as death ]

sorry for the incoming disappointment, Mat

[ohwyrm]

"Beautiful" is not the word I would use to describe it.

It's okay, he is used to it!

[mustlovemoogles]

How would you describe it then, if not beautiful?

[ perhaps there is still hope that this is the Elezen that Mat is looking for-- ]

[ohwyrm]

I suppose that the scenery is pleasant enough. However, the company leaves much to be desired.

love is DEAD

[mustlovemoogles]

[ .... ]

....

[ .... ]

You are a heathen

✗